Navigating reproductive choices and life transitions is hard. But you don't have to struggle alone.
Welcome, fellow struggler! I'm Amber Griffioen (also known as "Dr. Griff"), a professor of philosophy and existential coach specializing in reproductive challenges and life transitions. I support human beings of all stripes, especially those who are...
...navigating complicated fertility, pregnancy, or caretaking journeys
...exploring significant life, career, or reproductive decisions
....undergoing difficult bodily changes or transitions
...searching for spiritual or secular resources to find meaning
With my compassionate, philosophy-driven approach, I’m here to help you find meaning, direction, and connection as you walk this transformational path.
Services
What Are You Struggling With?
(In)fertility, Pregnancy (Loss), and Birth Transitions
"This is literally the hardest and scariest thing I've ever done."
"Am I doing something wrong? Why isn't this working?"
"How can I make it through a pregnancy after loss?"
"When will I feel like a mother / father / parent?"
We are often told that pregnancy is a wonderful, positively life-changing experience. However, the physical and mental journey of getting pregnant, staying pregnant, giving birth, and transitioning into parenthood is extremely challenging—and perilous!—for many people with wombs. My own reproductive story, and my work on the philosophy of pregnancy and loss, uniquely equip me to help you develop meaningful rituals and find your way through the transformations (both positive and negative) that await you and your body.
Questions Surrounding Parenthood
"Am I ready to be a parent?"
"Do I even want (more) children? What are my reproductive options?"
"How can I feel better about my reproductive choices?"
"Can I imagine my future without children?"
I can help you explore your values and navigate the complex questions surrounding becoming a parent, a full-time caretaker, or a member of a "non-traditional" family. Together, we can explore strategies for finding balance amidst the various roles and responsibilities you occupy. Alternatively, I can support you in developing confidence and self-compassion as you navigate a childless future.
Bodily Transition and Loss of Identity
"Where did I go? I don't recognize myself anymore."
"How can I make room for me in my new life?"
"My body doesn't feel like mine. What can I do?"
"I don't have my own goals anymore! Where do I go from here?"
Do you feel like you've lost yourself as you transition into a new stage in your life? Do shifting roles and priorities in family, career, or (self-) caretaking make you wonder where YOU went? Are you grieving the loss of certain bodily or mental capacities, or grappling with a body that feels foreign to you? I can help you struggle through these transitions and discover new ways of living authentically in your changing body and life situation.
Reconciling Religion and Reproduction
"Why would God allow me to struggle like this?"
"How can I reconcile my faith and my feelings ? Is there room for spirituality on my journey?"
"Is there an afterlife for the unborn?"
"How can I keep religion out of my struggles?"
Are you having trouble reconciling your faith with your reproductive experience? Are you angry at the God you worship? OR, do you wish people would keep their religion out of your body altogether? As someone who works at the intersection of the secular and the sacred, I can help you navigate the tensions that arise when spirituality, science, and your somatic life collide.
Struggling with Something Else?
Book a discovery call to find out if I'm the right coach for you!
Coaching Packages
Jumpstart Your Journey
Blaze a trail toward new horizons of meaning with a 1:1 coaching cluster spread out over 100 days.
Perfect for clients looking to gain initial clarity, address shorter-term challenges, or simply explore a coaching relationship in more detail. Benefit from focused 1:1 coaching and support to navigate immediate issues and set a strong foundation for your journey forward.
Includes:
—Up to five 1-on-1 coaching sessions with Dr. Griff
—Personalized transformation map and final narrative report to take with you
—Email/messaging support for the duration of your package
—Materials, workbooks, and media for independent study (as desired/needed)
—Lifelong access to present and future CompassWise online communities
Navigate the Wilderness
Chart a course to greater understanding and self-transformation through six months of 1:1 coaching and support.
Ideal for clients seeking to deepen their self-understanding, undertake significant transformations, or receive more extensive support on their reproductive and transitional journeys.
Includes:
—Up to twelve 1-on-1 coaching sessions with Dr. Griff
—Personalized transformation map, monthly video progress reports, and final narrative report to take with you
—Email/messaging support for the duration of your package
—Materials, workbooks, and media for independent study (as desired/needed)
—Lifelong access to present and future CompassWise online communities
Take a Self-Guided Tour
(COMING SOON)
For clients seeking flexibility and autonomy, my self-guided packages will offer comprehensive resources and tools to help you continue your journey at your own pace. Perfect for those with busy schedules or who prefer a more affordable option without compromising on quality.
Individually-priced self-study packages will include workbooks and media, as well as access to present and future CompassWise online communities and discounts on future individual and group coaching packages.
COMING SOON
Check this space again soon for announcements on upcoming courses, webinars, and events.
You will also be able to sign up for my newsletter here soon!
About Me
I am a bundle of identities, stories, and contradictions—a philosopher by trade, a spouse by commitment, a mother by C-section, an ex-pat by choice, and a baseball fan by faith. I am deeply silly and totally serious—earnestly playful but true to my values. I have overcome challenges and been overcome by them. I have practiced gratitude but also lament.In terms of culture and career, I'm a Midwestern American gal with a Ph.D. in philosophy pursuing dual citizenship in Germany, where I've lived and worked for the past 15 years. I'm fluent in both English and German, and I can research and/or curse in a few other languages.I taught for a decade in the philosophy department at the University of Konstanz, and I now teach in the fabulous Ethics and Leadership program at Duke Kunshan University in China, where my students and I explore how our beliefs, emotions, and values shape our identities and what that means for our future life choices concerning family, career, and community.
Along my own reproductive journey, I have struggled my way through spontaneous and elective abortions, secondary infertility, laparoscopies, assisted reproduction, pregnancy after loss (and during a pandemic), birth trauma, depression, hormonal imbalances, and chronic pain. My body has been unformed, reformed, and transformed in various ways, good and bad. I have experienced the weirdness of pregnancy, the tragedy of loss, the joy of a rainbow child, the still-awkward reconnection with my body, and the rebirth of my self. I have learned first-hand about the joys and challenges of first-time parenthood after 40, and I have struggled mightily with balancing the demands of career, parenting, spirituality, and self-care.I still wrestle actively with religion, but I find comfort and hope in the quiet resistance of the mystics. I acknowledge the fact that both my physical body and my spiritual identity are in perpetual flux—and I try to endure that daily labor of "becoming" with patience, while still living my life with as much authenticity as I can muster.
Undertake your own journey of transformation and schedule a consultation call to see if I am the right person to accompany you on your path!
Want to learn more about my scholarly work and interests? Check out my academic website or my Google Scholar page.
I can't wait to start this journey with you!
Dr. Griff
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
—Walt Whitman
Umpire 1: "I calls 'em' as I sees 'em."
Umpire 2: "I calls 'em as they is."
Umpire 3: "Until I calls 'em, they ain't."
—Old baseball adage
FAQ
I understand a reproductive challenge most generally as any issue, decision, or transition you might be confronting with respect to your (potentially, actually, formerly, or differently-abled) reproductive body that causes you confusion, stress, or anxiety. I also include here questions surrounding parenthood, childlessness, reproductive choice, pregnancy termination, and other related issues.
By life transition I mean any set of experiences or changes that have the potential to positively or negatively transform central elements of your life. For example, becoming a parent, changing careers, going through menopause, entering retirement, losing a loved one, beginning or ending a committed relationship, or moving to a new location can all count as 'life transitions'.
These struggles and transitions may be physical, emotional, psychological, intellectual, spiritual, practical, or ethical. Usually, they involve a combination of several aspects of your life and identity over time.
I am not a licensed psychologist or psychotherapist, nor am I a medical professional. I am therefore neither here to diagnose you nor to tell you what to do. Instead of a hierarchical, clinical "doctor-patient" relationship, ours will be a relationship rooted in equality and personal connection. As a coach, I consider myself more akin to a travel companion on your journey through struggle, self-discovery, and transformation. You have to walk the path, but I can use my expertise to help you find your footing, support you when you stumble, and equip you with tools that can make your struggles more manageable. My job is to walk alongside you on your journey and to provide compassionate, reflective companionship as we take on the challenges of that journey together.
I use the label existential coach to indicate that the philosophical themes I coach around reach deep into core tensions in our very existence and identity—tensions between the circumstances we find ourselves in and the choices we make, between the values that define us and the people we want to become, between the systems that keep us down and our collective power to resist them. Together, we will address these themes as they affect you personally. We will reflect on the values and expectations central to your life and how to transform them into purposeful action that allow you, as a human in the world, to "struggle better".
I live at the intersection of the religious, spiritual, and secular, and I am not currently confessional. I was raised in a Calvinist Christian environment by ecumenical parents, and over the years I have had significant immersive experience in various Christian churches and environments, many located at radically different points on the political spectrum. I have also done a lot of interreligious and interfaith work, and my years-long research on religious mysticism informs my coaching practice with my clients encountering spiritual struggle. Ultimately, I think that religion and spirituality can be important vehicles for making meaning in life, but I also acknowledge the harm that religious communities can (and do) inflict on people, and these are all themes we can discuss together. Moreover, if you want nothing to do with religion, I am happy to make your coaching space a safe, religion-free zone.
I have a Ph.D. in philosophy, focusing on value theory, ethics, moral psychology, and philosophical theology, as well as over 15 years of teaching and mentoring experience in higher education. I am presently engaged in a year-long cross-training in the psychological sciences of personality and post-traumatic growth, and I have undergone educational training in accompanying and assisting individuals who are experiencing or have experienced pregnancy loss. As a coach, I am currently pursuing certification with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC).
I offer coaching in both my native English and in German. I enable captioning and live transcripts in the language we decide to work in, and I speak slowly and clearly in case you need extra time to process or our coaching language is not your first language.
Once available, all my self-guided courses and webinar packages will be available for booking online. For 1-1 coaching, it is important for me to take a (free) discovery call with you to make sure that my approach is the right one for you and that I can be useful to you on your journey. Once we have decided to enter into a coaching relationship with each other, I will send you a contract with the relevant scheduling and payment links.
The fact that you are here at all shows that you have recognized a need for change or support. This is an important first step in your transformational journey, and you can be proud of yourself for taking it! Undertaking that journey with a coach is a way of investing in your own personal wellbeing. As a client, this means being willing to sacrifice time, energy, and, yes, also money. Your financial and emotional commitment shows me that you take our relationship seriously and gives me the permission I need to help you achieve a return on your investment that will last far beyond the time we have together.
At the same time, many coaching packages out there are prohibitively expensive for those with significant debt or who struggle to make ends meet. Economic and social justice are central values of my practice, and it is important to me that my coaching be accessible to everyone. I am therefore developing a sliding scale payment system to ensure that no one has to sacrifice financial safety to work with me, and I additionally hope to offer a limited number of full scholarships for those cannot currently afford my fees. Payment in installments is also possible for those unable to pay up front.
Alternatively, perhaps you have a skill or service to offer in lieu of financial payment. I am open to bartering!
The best way to see what I can do for you is to book a free discovery call to discuss your situation. Likewise, if you are interested in anonymously sponsoring a client for 1-on-1 coaching, please use the contact form below and let me know.
Have a question? Want to know more? Want to share your struggle?
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